Monday, August 15, 2011

It has made all the difference...

The first poem I learned by heart, as far as I can remember, was Robert Frost's "Walking by Woods on a Snowy Evening...".  I learned it, and loved it with all my heart. 

As I walk through this life full of FULLNESS, the words are etched in my brain.  "And I...I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference..."

These words speak to me like no others.  "I took the road less traveled by..." 

It's been an interesting road, with plenty of unknowns up ahead. 

On this road, I've discovered that I am walking toward wholeness.  Healing.  And, if I may be so bold...perhaps even wisdom.

My mother-in-law told my husband the other day "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".  This was in response to him expressing hurt at some things she has done and said.  Of was a phrase only meant for him...and not for her. He and I have been working hard at the work of relationship...of healthy relationship.  It's been very successful within our own home, and with friends and family who are interested in healthy relationships...but not so much with those who wish to remain stuck...stagnant...sticky...and, unfortunately, hurtful.  My aunt told me a few weeks back "When given the opportunity to choose between being right and harmony, choose harmony."  Of course, this was only directed at me for expressing that I felt it was dysfunctional to remain in co-dependent abusive relationships. My other aunt wrote me that she felt "between the judgements of right and wrong, there is a field, I will meet you there."  And yet....I felt distinctly that somehow, the only way to that field was the path less chosen...the path of saying..."Enough." 

Is there a right?  A wrong?  I suppose one could say there isn't.  From where I stand there are many occurrences that feel that they shouldn't have been, but they are anyway.  Things you can not change.  Things you would not choose.  Like losing someone you love deeply.  For no reason.  Perhaps these are the things that are not right...or wrong.  They just are.  No matter how devastating.  Or beautiful.  We can't change them either way.

But, there are other things we have to be discerning about if happiness is to be found.  We can choose to end relationships that refuse to grow.  We can avoid those who would abuse us as they saw fit.  We can opt for communication and the people who understand how to partake in it.  We can select friends and family who desire healthy, loving, peaceful relationships that nurture and sustain hope.  We can move forward...and away if needed.  We can choose the road less traveled by. 

We can make choices about some things, and have to just live with others.  As that reality remains, I stand firm in my understanding that changing the things I CAN change, while perhaps not a popular idea in dysfunctional circles, is what I am given to do.  In that, I may be able to cope better with the things I can not change.  The things I can never change. 

As I strive for this...change...I find myself walking the road less traveled by.  It's funny, but I feel strangely and surely led by the purple and yellow light...and a sparkle of star energy.  I feel my twins and my unborn daughter clearing the path in approval.  "yes, mommy....this IS the way....go this way can do it.  We know you can." 

And so, I follow their guidance, knowing they are far wiser than I.  I follow the road less traveled by.  It is making all the difference. 


  1. Beautiful post and photograph. There will always be those things that we wish were different but that we cannot change. Perhaps that just alerts us to those things that we CAN change, helping us to take that path forward . . or that path away if necessary. xo

  2. Robert Frost was my first poet I remember too. I remember being so young checking out this huge adult book, feeling so grown up that I wanted to read these poems. Poems that my peers never even thought of while they busy with childhood games. And I too took the road less traveled.

    That was a beatuiful post my friend. And you look lovely! I'm praying for you always! And yes, there is a time when enough is a good path. We can still love and pray for those who hurt us, yet we are not always called to be in harms way. Family is a tough one, thankfully God's family is WAY bigger than blood.

  3. Wow, incredible beautiful and thought provoking post. Thank you.

  4. Your words transported me to the woods I can't visit today and to memories of my beautiful daughter Hannah who died before birth in 2004. Thank you


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