Wednesday, December 2, 2009
It's been a little over 7 months since I gave birth to my first twin, Alexander on Earth day....6 months since we discovered we had a twin named Simon. 4 months since I held a furry 8 week old puppy in my arms who was born around the same time as we lost our babies forever.
Tomorrow, my 6 month old puppy, Ferdinand...spirit dog...gift from the universe...helper and companion...licker of tears, and provider of warm morning cuddles and never ending attentiveness...
...will be neutered.
Part of me feels that such an AMAZING dog should add his perfect genes to the pool of Old English Sheepdogs before him. After all...he is smart, gentle, has perfect conformation, and is downright gorgeous!!! Not only is he the perfect canine...but...he's almost human.
That's when I understand....it is about more than his genes. He's here for a reason, and he knows it.
I hate to sound anthropomorphic....but....he's not just a dog.
He will be happier as a neutered male. Less tense about his bones (a recent development that showed up with the testosterone that marks him being an adolescent), less apt to try to mount me when I'm making dinner (believe me...he's really big, and that constant attempt makes cooking a lot harder.) and less anxious when he is learning a new trick (also new...)
It needs to be done.
He is ready.
It is time.
Every male in my house (6 of them) has been wincing over the idea of having our big beauty altered. It seems to really....well....bother them.
funny....the only thing that bothers me about it is that so much time has passed. He's 6 months old. The time flew by. I barely noticed how fast it all went.
I'm still in the hospital holding my lifeless baby.
I'm still mourning in a field.
I'm still watching balloons sail away in the sky.
I'm still peeking at my new puppy for the very first time.
I'm still there.
Being forced to be here...right now....simply because life demands that it is so.
My furry friend is 6 months old.
He is doing his job well, but more than that...he is my best friend.
and tomorrow, the only thing I am thinking about is that he MUST be o.k..
Posted by Emerging Butterfly at 11:44 AM