Standstill...

There is this different place wherein time not only stands still, but also flies by. 

It's a place where a computer virus is met with a shrug.
And where the understanding that the computer will be gone for weeks, is met with a smile.

And months go by in the blink of an eye.

And tiny toes get bigger.

And the thorn in your heart continues to fester...and yet...you smile anyway.

Because there are things to smile about that feel better than the pain of loss.

And then...you look out the window, and something reminds you. 

A yellow balloon sails by the window, tied with a purple string.

Two birds land on the porch.

A baby girl smiles...at nothing.  And probably something.  Probably.

Walking hand in hand with your best friend.  Your lover.  The one who has walked through everything with you...who will walk through everything yet to come.  You walk...and you talk....and only the two of you are aware that there should have been little twins running up ahead.  Almost three years old.  There should have been little chubby twin fingers stroking the soft cheek of a beloved little sister. 

You look into the eyes of an older child...who is drawing a picture with purple and yellow flowers.  Who always adds purple and yellow to every picture.  Who always will.  Probably.

Because...we were changed. 

All of us. 

And as life speeds ahead.  Parts of us all are standing still.

Changed.

The memories that never were, and that always will be.

In a standstill.