I take it back.

My last post talked about how I'm not patient. 

I want to retract that.

I am 42 weeks patient.  I am 4 days in labor patient.  I am 2 and a half years waiting to hold my living baby patient. 

I am the most patient woman on the planet.

I am also tired.

I am also afraid.

I am also....lost.  Lost as to WHY this is taking so long.  Tired from being in labor for a million years, or so it seems.  Afraid...because....what if after all this health, life and vibrance....after all the waiting and worrying....after all the support and love from around the world...what if....it ends badly.  What if she doesn't make it. 

My midwife says there is no reason to worry.

My readers know differently.

I know differently.

There are reasons.

Reasons that happen.

That have happened before.

To me.
To you.

I have to look the other way, because if I glance in that direction for too long, it scalds my heart and the inflammation is more than I can bear.

Waiting for a rainbow.  Waiting for the storm to fade.

Waiting.

In patience.