Finding a Way...

Sorry for worrying you...

Sometimes life twists in unexpected ways, knocking you flat on your face...gasping for breath.

As a mom who has lost babies...had her eldest childs life altered painfully...I get loss.  I get it. 

But, even while "getting it"...I didn't expect to lose my understandings of who I was...where I was standing...and how life could be so utterly...NOT...what you thought it might be.  

All in all....things are weaving themselves into possibly better patterns...open...trusting...patterns. 

All in all...maybe things have to be what they are, so that they can become what they will be. 

I honestly feel that I can't speak.

I can't really even begin to tell the tale. 

Let's just say that it's knocked my socks off...

blew me into an upside down world...

and taught me how to see something in a new light.

A more honest light.

And...maybe, even a more beautiful, whole light.

But...it hurt while it was happening. 

More painful than...anything...ANYTHING....I've been through.

Anything. 

But...not as lengthy.  More of an acute pain, rather than the chronic one of loss and loss and loss and loss......

Pain. 

It shocks us into action. 

It forces us to pay attention.

It clears the way....

for holding hands again. 

I'm o.k.

More importantly...."we" are o.k. once more.

more than o.k.