Thursday, June 18, 2009

Embracing the Pain of Loss...

I wonder what the world would look like without the pain of loss. Would it seem as vivid? Is there some powerful magic in knowing that all that you love could vanish in an instant? Would not being aware of the fact that it can always get worse change the way we love those around us?

I woke up this morning and heard birds singing outside my bedroom window...the sound was so sweet and clear. I felt tears at the corners of my eyes as I remembered that my twins would never hear that sound, having left this world before they were born. My heart softened as I heard the stirring of my living children waking up to the day ahead of them, and though my cheeks were still wet with tears of morning dew, I pulled myself up and out of bed to share my heart with my little boys that are living, warm and jolly.

I'd like to think that I would have known how wonderful it is to be alive without knowing the pain of loss, but having lived a life that has given me otherwise from an early age, I suppose I will never know if that would have been possible. One thing I do know....everytime life hands me pain, I emerge fully into a new place of awareness and understanding. It is a beautiful day...and my tears are part of that day. They are a sign that I am alive.

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