Monday, September 12, 2011

I take it back.

My last post talked about how I'm not patient. 

I want to retract that.

I am 42 weeks patient.  I am 4 days in labor patient.  I am 2 and a half years waiting to hold my living baby patient. 

I am the most patient woman on the planet.

I am also tired.

I am also afraid.

I am also....lost.  Lost as to WHY this is taking so long.  Tired from being in labor for a million years, or so it seems.  Afraid...because....what if after all this health, life and vibrance....after all the waiting and worrying....after all the support and love from around the world...what ends badly.  What if she doesn't make it. 

My midwife says there is no reason to worry.

My readers know differently.

I know differently.

There are reasons.

Reasons that happen.

That have happened before.

To me.
To you.

I have to look the other way, because if I glance in that direction for too long, it scalds my heart and the inflammation is more than I can bear.

Waiting for a rainbow.  Waiting for the storm to fade.


In patience.


  1. You are far braver than me. We were due the same day and my baby is now three and a half weeks old, as the anxiety won out in the end and I just had to get her out. I couldn't hold on. I wish I could have, but I just couldn't. So I think you are amazing.
    I'm sending you so much love and luck and hoping that precious girl arrives any moment. In fact, I hope she's here right now.

  2. Oh Friend, my prayers are constantly with you. My candle was lit all day again today. I pray it doesn't need lit tomorrow. I pray your rainbow girl is in your arms safely as I type this. You are strong, and brave and beautiful and an amazing woman and mama. I am so blessed to know you and get to walk with you in this even only through typed words. Lord bring this baby into this world soon, her mama needs her here!!! I Love you my friend!

  3. And do look the other way. Keep yourself in as much peace as you can. In as much hope as you can. You both need and deserve it! May God send a hedge of protection over you both. Can't wait to here the news of her healthy arrival!!!

  4. I have been anxiously awaiting an update for a few days now. Please let us know how you're doing.

  5. Emerging Butterfly...been thinking of and praying for you. Hope your litltle rainbow is here and that your heart is overflowing with love! Looking forward to your post.

  6. Please update us when you can!!!!


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